by Denis Beausejour

Series: Kingdom Life

Message Outline

Series Message 7:
Kingdom Relationships

Text: Matthew 5:21-26, Matthew 18:15-20

Series theme verse: "Change your life. God's kingdom is here....Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 4:17b, 11:30, The Message)

Kingdom Life series goals:

• Learn to think, act and be like Jesus - Matthew 5:48
• Live His radical love for God and for people - Matthew 22:37-39
• Going beyond the elementary teachings about Jesus - Hebrews 6:1
• Be like The Rabbi - spread his “yoke”, live his rhythm - Matthew 11:28-30
• Moving to maturity, by His confidence & His power - Acts 1:8
• Becoming the chosen royal priesthood - 1 Peter 2:9, Ephesians 3:20-21
• Ushering in the fullness of the Kingdom - Matthew 6:10
  Remember: Jesus believes we can become like him!

Remember: Jesus believes we can become like him!
 
Today's Theme and Main Idea:

Today we will be looking at the blueprint for relationships in the Kingdom of God. One of the marks of the dynamic rule of Jesus Christ in our lives is that we should experience renewal, healing and transformation of our relationships. Why is that? It is anchored in the mystery and power of grace. By grace, we can see that the Cross of Christ provided the only way for us to be forgiven and restored into relationship with God,  while meeting God's perfect standard of justice.

As we deeply experience the forgiveness that we receive for our own sins, we begin to see the way to truly forgive others - even when they do not ask for it - by the power of God. This lasting forgiveness becomes the only sustainable basis for relational peace and transformation.....because we can truly only give what we have first received. And remember:

We cannot stay right with God unless we stay right with people. Throughout the Scriptures, we see examples like Matthew 5:21-26, where God asks us to put a hold on things, even on worship, until we are restored into relationship with the person we are not right with. This is an absolute requirement to be right with God. This is always a challenging process, but the Lord has shown us what he has in mind.

Focus passage: Matthew 18:15-20

Context: Matthew 18 is the fourth of the five major discourses of Matthew's gospel - and this key teaching of Jesus centers on prescriptions for a vibrant community - how to get along. In verses 1-4 he begins by saying we must be as humble as a child to enter the Kingdom. In verses 5-9, he shows the importance of every believer and that we are to help each other hate sin and live in purity. In verses 10-14, he asks accountability for leaders, that every single one of his chosen ones would be protected due to their precious value in his sight. The chapter ends with a parable (verses 21-35) that requires us to forgive one another because we have each been forgiven a debt that we could never repay. Not to forgive is to put ourselves in jail!

Jesus not only tells us how to enter and live in the Kingdom, but in the heart of the chapter, he provides a process for resolving the difficulties we are bound to have as we live and serve together - whenever we require discipline, reconciliation or restoration. Notice the process speaks of sin, but it is easily adapted to other types of offenses and misunderstandings:

1. Go privately to the individual involved with a motive of restoration. (verse 15)

2. Bring 1-2 witnesses to make sure the facts are established. (verse 16)

3. Bring the issue to the church for a decision. (Verse 17a)

4. After three opportunities - treat the person like a non-believer. (Verse 17b)

5. Notice the source and results of the discipline (Verse 18-20)

Kingdom Life Shape - The Triangle - Integration of Relationships

The Kingdom places a premium on the quality and the balance of our relationships. The Scriptures repeatedly tell us that an important proof of loving a God we cannot see is loving people we can see. Further, we are told to love others whether or not they are Christians, and we are even told to love our enemies. In fact, it seems that spiritual maturity as defined and practiced by Jesus was to do all these things with increasing integration - by realizing that the triangle is integrated by God's presence and character.

Upward: We begin by seeking and finding a God who made us and the entire universe. He is creator, judge, and amazingly, our willing sacrificial savior. As we grow, we realize he desires intimate fellowship with us and connects with us in worship, prayer and life as we journey deeper into his heart.  (see Luke 6:12) We also continue to sin and fail in various ways, and we must constantly return to him for forgiveness and restoration.

Inward: As we continue, we become more aware of our place in a community of believers and we form deep and rewarding relationships with like-minded brothers and sisters - and we learn to grow in relationships of people who have the common reality of being redeemed - people chosen by Jesus. (see Luke 6:13-16) When the inevitable problems come, we are able to reconcile and forgive, just as God first did with us!

Outward:  We always come into contact with those who do not yet know God. These are people also made in the image of the creator we love, and they are also people he died for. As we ascribe worth to him, we see his heart, which is that no one would perish (see Luke 6:17-19). We live out a life of serving, praying and forgiving as part of integrating the upward and inward dimensions, in the power of his Spirit.

Goal: All three relational dimensions integrated and balanced as we practice God's ways and character.

* Adapted from chapters 9-12 of The Passionate Church

Kingdom Experiment:

1. Identify a relationship where you need to ask forgiveness….and do so this week!

2. Identify a relationship where you need to forgive, and release the debt to God. Don't talk to them unless they ask you for forgiveness.    

Application questions for reflection and sharing in small groups:

1. Describe the most significant relationship improvement you have experienced. What happened?

2. What part of the triangle is strongest for you? Weakest? Why is this?

3. Share your Kingdom experiment relationship challenges. Ask the group for input on your plan to seek forgiveness and to forgive - comparing it to the process outlined in Matthew 18:15-20.

For parents:

1. Have you ever asked your children to forgive you? What happened?

2. Could Matthew 18 apply to relational problems among your children and their friends? How? Share examples from your family experiences.

Memory Verse for this Week:

Matthew 18:4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
 

Resources for further study:

1.  Psalm 51, by King David

2.  Romans chapter 3, by Paul of Tarsus

3.  The Irresistible Revolution, by Shane Claiborne

4.  Dissident Discipleship, by David Augsburger

Preview reading for next week's message:

Philippians 3:10-15
Luke 12:32 (Memory verse)