by Senior Pastor Denis Beausejour

Series: HEALTHY FAMILIES IN HECTIC TIMES

Message: Ingredients for Building a Healthy Marriage
Text:  Ephesians 5:33

Introduction
Living a Christ-centered marriage is at the heart of having a healthy marriage, and that is at the heart of a healthy family. In this mini-series, we are looking at starting, building and finishing strong in our marriages. Last week, we looked at the foundational principles for starting a healthy marriage. Today, we look at the key ingredients for building a healthy marriage. Next week, we will look at the joy of finishing strong in a healthy marriage.

Today's Text: Ephesians 5:33
 
For perspective, the Amplified Version:

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. AMP

 
1. Her key need - to be loved—how does she see that?

From "Love and Respect" - the acronym "Couple"

• Closeness – she needs time with you, non-sexual touching
• Openness – she needs you to open up to her
• Understanding – she does not need you to fix, just listen
• Peacemaking – she needs to hear you say you are sorry
• Loyalty – she needs to know you are committed
• Esteem – she wants you to honor and cherish her

2. His key need - to be respected - how does he see that?

    From "Love and Respect" - the acronym "Chairs":

• Conquest – his desire to work & achieve
• Hierarchy – his desire to protect/provide
• Authority – his desire to serve and lead
• Insight – his desire to analyze and counsel
• Relationship – his desire for friendship
• Sexuality – his desire for sexual intimacy

3. The key to this whole passage on marriage - Ephesians 5:18

Love and respect are commanded by God WITHOUT CONDITION

HOW IN THE WORLD CAN WE DO THAT?

Living with your spouse "minute-by-minute" in the filling of the Spirit

Allowing that crucial moment of choice before you act

Personal Application Notes:

 
Personal Application Questions:

1. Ask your wife what it specifically means for her to experience love —look together at each word in the "Couple" acronym and define it wives, give your husbands specific examples.

2. Ask your husband what it specifically means for him to experience respect - look together at each word in the "Chairs" acronym and define it - husbands, give your wives specific examples. 

Series Resources: Stronger Marriages

1. Family Life Marriage Conference - a fabulous weekend of teaching, laughter, romance and time together with your spouse! This takes place at a hotel downtown from Friday at 6 p.m. to Sunday at 2 p.m. and is very cost-effective. Plan now to attend March 7-9 and make a wise investment in your marriage!

2. Love and Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs.    

3. MCC Marriage Tune-Up, a morning seminar led by Pastor Denis and Marianne. We are planning to have this Saturday morning November 17 at the Parish Center between 8:30a and 12:30. There is no cost except your own child care arrangements. Using an interactive format, Denis and Marianne will teach two critical skills for improving your marriage that you can take home for immediate improvement.

Visit Series Resources for links and information about these recommendations.